Dear Aunt Flo,
You are the reason that I am convinced God is male. After all, only a man could decide that it would just be fucking awesome to make women bleed from their hoo-hah’s. I have completely had it with you Flo. My stomach feels as though it’s being wrung out like a wet towel, my head pounds worse than if I had spent a day watching FOX news and I can just feel myself bordering on bitch.
I cannot understand for the life of me why, with all the advances of modern medicine, it isn’t possible to stop you completely without any adverse side effects. Sure, we can throw a shit ton of money at erectile dysfunction, but the best scientists can do for us poor menstruating women is the pill or a shot? I don’t want to bleed but I don’t want to gain 25 fucking pounds of water weight either. Why can’t women win this battle?
Maybe someday I’ll thank the Lord for my baby maker, but that day has yet to come. Therefore Flo, you remain on the very top of my shit list.
Leave me the fuck alone,
Project Openletter
P.s. I know you think it’s probably indecent of me to turn you into blog fodder Flo, but too much information or not, it’s my blog and I’ll bitch if I want to.
July 21, 2008 at 10:30 am
I feel your pain, then I yelled at my gyn and she gave me an operation and now I have no period. And its awesome. One small benefit of good insurance and age.
I still get PMS though, just no more visits from Aunt Flo. Do you know how much money I’m saving in Tampons? Its awesome.
August 7, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Oooooh thats what I need – surgery to take away the horrid bitch for good.
She’s a shiteous cunt. There, I said it.
August 7, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Amen. “Shiteous cunt.” I like it.